Tantra
2003-10-04 * Experience with a Capital E.
Experience is a large part of Tantra. Not experience, but Experience, with a capital E. The difference is in the methods used to Experience or experience. When you are driving through a very beautiful area, you are experiencing the view. When you stop the car, get out, sit down on the grass and breathe it all in, you are Experiencing the entire place. This makes all the difference when you apply it to the principles of making love.
Most humans experience sex. They find someone who is attractive enough to make their erectile tissues erect, and proceed into a scripted behavior that is designed to convince the other person to have sex. Then, they take this person, use him/her as a life-sized sex toy. By not connecting with the human being inside the body, they treat this living person as if he/she didn't have a spirit of it's own. The next day, they don't discuss it any further than compliments in the morning, if the script was acted out appropriately.
To Experience sex is a totally different ball game. Not only must the person you are attracted to be able to affect your erectile tissue, he/she must also be able to connect with you on some other plane, such as food, education, or conversation, and usually more than 3 or 4 separate areas of union need to be present for good sexual Experiences. This other connection makes the Experience happen. (see past articles regarding Chakras on this website.) This is one reason that many Tantrics are monogamous or limit their partners; it's difficult to find a union like that.
A couple who is into Experiencing sex will not wish to simply view it through the windsheild at 55 mph. They have to slow down and take their time, savoring each moment of the act from flirting thru foreplay all the way to cleanup. Usually it starts with a deep look into each other's eyes. Then becomes a recognition from both partners that there is a force bringing them together. To create a good sexual Experience from this base, it's important to be Here and Now, not thinking about future performance or past issues.
Take the energy and focus your attention to each touch and kiss that your partner bestows upon you. Put all of your attention on the tips of your fingers as you run them over your partner's body. Get all of your body involved, not just genetalia.
Finally, the best way to Experience sex is to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n. Remember, the moment you orgasm, a lot of the fun is over. Put that moment off as long as you can by relaxing your muscles and breathing, and perhaps even chanting your lover's name quietly in your mind. No matter what technique you find that helps you slow down, it will make more of an impact on your psyche if you take the time to enjoy what you are doing.
If you rush through it, who knows what great things you'd miss!
